Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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