Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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