listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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