just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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