You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
