Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
