In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
