Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i don't like sucking hair
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
