What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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