Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
