I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
