I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
