Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
