the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
