I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
