I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
