Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
