Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
