Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
