He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
