I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
