The maid of honor just puked.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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