wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
