I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
