The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
