making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
