where am i from again
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
