It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
