I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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