Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
