Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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