Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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