matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Houston, we have a blender
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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