Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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