If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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