slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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