Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
