you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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