U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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