Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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