Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
