FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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