I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
