I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
