is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
