For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
