Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Pooping to opera.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
