The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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