btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
