you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
