I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
